"Julian, show me the most expensive house in Granada Hills. Now!"
It was a windy day in the Valley. Wildfires were tearing up pricier homes in Malibu. It was lost on me how anyone could be in the mood for house shopping.
I gently reminded her that the mortgage payment would be at least $10,000 a month. Most people dream of that monthly income. "For you," I said cautiously, "that's just to keep the bank from taking the house away."
Don't mind the maintenance, renovations, utilities, crazy house parties, and garden gnomes.
But many of the wealthy make money to spend it. There's an irony about spending your whole life for something in order to not worry about it. It behooves a commoner like myself. Nonetheless, I'm a real estate agent, not a financial advisor.
11926 Vara Pl, Granada Hills, CA 91344
The Bridlewood Estates community is Granada Hills' Bel-Air. Head west on Rinaldi and right before you hit Reseda Blvd., you'll find Mayerling Street. Follow it north and you'll stumble upon a hidden paradise of elite homes. It's just 5 minutes from Granada Hills Charter High School, from middle-class Mission Hills, and sadly, from my own house.
If you're address is in Bridlewood, you've made it. Blow money on Bentley's amongst celebrities, doctors, business magnates, and lottery winners. In fact, four out of five of Granada Hill's priciest homes in 2018 sold here.
At the least, name-drop it in conversation. And because most people in reality don't care, they won't know what it is. It'll be a good time to mock them for it.
Price: $1,980,000 - Only $20,000 more than the second highest at $1,960,000, which sold down the street. It's not an outrageous price. With 20% down, the monthly payment including property taxes is around $10,500.
Bedrooms: 5 - While not many for a house of this size, who needs that many anyway?
Bathrooms: 6 - The average house has more bedrooms than bathrooms. Large homes on the other hand, have more bathrooms. When it takes 15 minutes to get to the other side of the house, maybe it makes sense.
House Size: 5,737 sq ft - The median house size in the Valley this month is 1834 sq ft. This is more than three times as large.
Lot Size: 27,790 sq ft - This is about a half-football field in size.
Architecture: Tuscan-inspired Mediterranean Villa - It's been the rage and always will be. The Italians have mastered luxury living.
Other Amenities: Swimming pool with spa and toddler pool, lighted tennis court, wine room, spa room.
If you were wealthy, it seems that swimming and tennis would be of the utmost importance. O' Melveny park is the second biggest park in Los Angeles, but your backyard renders it useless.
It's always hot here, so we'll make sure that even your midnight dips are luxurious.
Even though you can afford all the food you want, there's still space for your own garden. You can have wine, apples, or trees that grow money.
It's a good time to start saving money. Thankfully, this chef's kitchen boats maple cabinets, granite countertops, Italian tile, inclusive stainless steel appliances, and a center island.
After you're done preparing food with ingredients you bought at Whole Foods, it's time to serve! Your rich friends likely have acquired a taste for Michelin-level cuisine. Hopefully your net worth reflects your culinary skills. Here's the dining room!
So, you've made it. All those 80-hour weeks have paid off. Your parents' doubts and all the haters have been silenced. Ok, maybe I'm talking about myself, but it's certainly time to catch up on some sleep.
The master suite has its own living room, gym, and bathroom (read: spa). It's basically a one-bedroom condo, but inside a 5-bedroom mansion.
Can you believe people pay $180 a month to go to Equinox Luxury Fitness? Peasants! You won't need to. That's a little bit off the top of that ridiculous $10,000/mo mortgage.
The Bridlewood Estates community holds all of Granada Hills' most expensive homes. If not this one, you can find other ones. Real estate really is about location. This is by no means the most expensive home in the Valley (closer to $10 million). But if you're like me, you want to stay close to friends and family. This is as good as it gets for the North Valley.
My client ended up not buying it. For shame - I was envisioning putting that commission check as a down payment on a neighboring house.
For the San Fernando Valley's most dedicated real estate team, call Julian at 818-390-3265.
The Valley isn't just a place of business for us - it's our home. Every client we help is another dream come true for us.
What are your thoughts? Comment below!
Listing# SR18209969 Courtesy of Janet Gonzalez (DRE: 02065014) from Rodeo Realty (DRE: 00951359)